Virtual Makeover: Heidi Montag

I normally applaud celebrities who are honest about getting boob jobs, lip injections, or any cosmetic enhancement surgery in general. As well, I don’t have anything against blondes with bosoms because well, I am one. That being said, I don’t really think getting three procedures before you’re 25 is a good idea for anyone. (And admittedly, I’ve watched every episode of The Hills so I’m not a big fan of Heidi anyway.) Heidi Montag is 21 years old. She probably can’t name the last four Presidents. How can she possibly know what her nose should optimally look like? She’s had her nose done, the infamous boob job, and the latest addition – ridiculous lip injections. (I’m guessing Restylane, FYI.)

And what’s with all the bikinis? It’s like some kids broke into her closet and tried to cut paper snowflakes out of all of her clothes. I’m guessing she got the same hangup with her boobs that plagues men who buy convertibles: “I paid extra for it, so I’d better use it, even if it’s not seasonable.” How insecure do you have to be to want to change that much about yourself at such a young age? I thought she was adorable at the beginning of The Hills – she had perfectly colored light blonde hair with all the right highlights and lowlights; a tiny little bod perfect for the beach or the runway; and a sassy, arrogant air of silliness. Now she just looks like every other nipped/tucked celebutante. Can we get a makeUNDER please? I don’t know about you guys, but the Beauty Bunny misses the old Heidi!