My cable company was recently absorbed by the growing corporate behemoth that is Comcast. Interested in knowing if there was any reward in the extra forty dollars per month they tacked onto my bill, I scanned the channels all over again searching for some of the high-gloss fluff that turns me on. Surprise! In my complacent hiatus from channel-surfing, I missed a plethora of new shows of the beauty and fashion ilk. There’s of course Project Runway, but although I love fashion, it’s not as beauty-focused as I’d prefer. But I love Christian, this season’s snobby effeminate little elf - he adds drama and humor both to every scene, and his designs are the best kind of over-the-top.
ANTM (America’s Next Top Model - yes, I use the acronym) is coming back, which is my personal fantasy lived out. The clothes and makeup are wild, extravagant affairs at every shoot - I only wish real girls got the opportunity to wear avant-garde styles like that! And Tyra is still just the proper TV-friendly mix of annoying
and magnetic. But my newest television pet in girly filler is Make Me a Supermodel, Bravo’s take on the model subniche in reality TV. Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford host, which just skims the celebrity clout requirements set by Tyra and Heidi when you add up their star power. (Why yes, thank you, I am a bitch.) It’s ADDICTIVE! They use both male and female models, which pumps up the tense and dramatic dynamics in the intermodel(new word! claimed it!) relationships. For example, straight model Ben is lusted after by a boyish gay counterpart, Ronnie, whose looks are straight out of a Ralph Lauren ad or a British rowing team. The kicker? Ben doesn’t seem to mind and in fact there appears to be a mutual attraction. And this week’s episode was the best yet - because it was all about sex. (Do I like this show for the makeup? Hmm…) Models were placed in pairs - no, Ben and Ronnie weren’t paired - and various types of awkwardness, tension and arousal, uhm, arose. More homosexual situations ensued (it is Bravo) and, much to the delight of the producers, both the two straight guys Casey and Perry and straight girls Jacki and Stephanie rose to the occasion and genuinely appear to be “into it” in their photos. Mee-oww!
The chemistry is 
absolutely palpable between most of the pairs, making the weaker couples obvious. The finale was a fetish-themed runway show with an equestrian bent, and the models did it up big: smoky Cher-like eyes that suggested a dirty gothic take on Cleopatra, riding crops, chaps and domestic abuse were nearly universal in their choices. The judges were impressed by Jacki and Stephanie’s girl-on-girl action at the end of the catwalk, but I thought Ronnie and Shannon were the most original and smooth in their delivery. Now admittedly, I’ve never watched a show where I see more of men in eyeliner, and I watch Logo, so that’s saying something - but right now, this show’s my new obsession!
Other beauty-related shows of note: Instant Beauty Pageant and How Do I Look?, both on the Style Network. (If you don’t have the Style Network, go call your cable company and yell at someone until they give it to you.) Of course, plenty of shows offer unintentional beauty education and entertainment, like Cashmere Mafia, The Hills, and Sex & The City reruns - and we can only hope the upcoming Lipstick Jungle joins their ranks. (Let’s hope Brooke Shields doesn’t curse it by being involved.) When did all these shows pop up? Who knows? (Okay, someone knows, but it doesn’t really matter.) Why now? Who cares? Watch and be beautiful, ladies!
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