The Beauty Bunny

I spend a lot of time thinking about beauty, and I find the most seasoned ladies often still need to learn at least a few of the lessons below. These might be better labeled as maxims than rules, but I thought that might confuse Google into sending me guys looking for the latest cheesecake shots from Tila Tequila. My personal favorite is #6.

1. Waterproof does not equal smudgeproof.
2. Do not trust that the hotel room will have a hairdryer. It doesn’t matter that the last 160 rooms you’ve stayed in have had them. If you don’t pack your bulky number, this hotel will not have one.
3. No day is a waste of makeup; looking gorgeous is its own reward.
4. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97: Wear sunscreen. (If you don’t get it, go download the Baz Luhrrman single and add it to your Winamp playlist right behind My Chemical Romance. Young people these days…)
5. Be careful with makeup colors called “coral” and “peach” - they’re often just innocent synonyms for orange.
6. Don’t let anyone make you think you’re superficial for caring about how you look. After all, they’re the ones who believe that what you do with your appearance means something about who you are.
7. Yes, you can survive for a whole day without your flat iron.
8. It’s extremely unlikely that you’re actually as fat as you think you are.
9. Being nice to strangers makes you happier, and being genuinely happy makes you more attractive. Therefore, saying “thank you” to the McDonald’s guy will make you look hotter. It’s scientific.
10. Faking your nails, eyelashes and hair color are okay. Faking your personality is not.
11. Never underestimate the power of an eyelash curler.
12. True beauty lies in confidence, so always treat the ground under your feet like a catwalk and work it.
13. If you buy a new product, try following the directions on the package before deciding it doesn’t work.
14. A little pain in the name of beauty never hurt anybody - well, not too bad, anyway.
15. It’s okay to be more motivated to quit smoking by what it’s doing to your looks than your lungs - as long as you still end up quitting.
16. When it comes to mascara, black is almost always the right choice.
17. Please don’t sleep in your makeup for the first six months of a new relationship so he won’t see you without it. He won’t like the zits from your clogged pores any better.
18. If all else fails, wear big sunglasses and expensive earrings.
19. Don’t be afraid to fake bake. Orange streaks are way hotter than skin cancer.
20. Judging other women for getting Botox, collagen or cosmetic surgery is tackier than actually getting the procedure yourself could ever be.
21. Even supermodels don’t wake up looking like supermodels. Get off your own case!

Photo source: Chicago Magazine, September 2007